Friday, September 30, 2011

My biggest challenge as a mother

Discipline is really hard for me. I always knew that when I had a child that I wanted to spank my children but when my daughter got to around one year old, I realized that I just cannot spank her.  The first reason I needed to discipline her was for hitting and that was prolly why I cannot spank her. Why would I hit her for hitting?? Does that make sense? "Anissa stop hitting me, come here so I can hit you." Come on now! So ever since I came into conflict with this I have been against spanking.  Also she doesnt always understand yet why she is in trouble (or I am not always sure if she knows why we are upset with her) and so I hate to make my baby be in pain and think that we just want to spank her for no reason.  It breaks my heart.  Also I have learned that it hurts her feelings more to sit in time out for 2 minutes than to be spanked for 2 seconds.  Time out is actually more of a consequence.  I dont know if it is just my husband but he seems to not know his strength and I feel that he sometimes spanks too hard and I dont want to cross the line of abuse.  It seems to be a thin line. 
Anyway the hardest thing that I am dealing with in this disciplining issue is yelling.  I have a super hard time not raising my voice at her. It seems that nothing works for her. Nothing gets her attention. I can say stop or no or put her in time out or spank her and just laughs at it all now a days. It is just second nature to me to yell and I dont want to be that mom. I am not sure how to break the habit.  My greatest challenge as a mother is my voice.  It seems that the way we try to avoid most is the way we end up being the most.  Why is that?

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